For some reason, people don't seem to understand the obvious: yellow cars suck.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yeah, that was on the first page of google image results for "yellow car" (no quotes).  I know Google isn't very good, but still, that's just pathetic. 

 

[note: all the pictures of yellow cars contained in this post are from the very first page of google image results for "yellow car"]

 

 

 

Here was another:

 

 

 

 

 

 

How retarded is that?!  Some loon tied a monkey to this stupid yellow car, and even a monkey knows how dumb it is.  Look at the monkey's posture--he's clearly trying to get off this pathetic excuse for a car.  Unfortunately, his left foot is stuck and his right foot is tied to the car by this loser.  This car isn't even street legal: it is missing its headlights.  I bet he registered it as a tractor, just so he could take it on the road.  And since this guy is obviously retarded, I think he was trying to have the monkey pull him in the car.  He obviously didn't make the "reigns" long enough to let the monkey get in front of the car, but even a monkey would be able to pull that big scrap of yellow trash; running away from it would be incentive enough.

 

 

 

I feel bad for that monkey.  Monkeys are the coolest creatures on the planet, and that particular model (the white-throated capuchin) is the coolest of the cool.  I hope he sets the car on fire, destroying his chain and escaping while his asshole of an owner burns to death.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Here's the very first image result:

 

 

 

 

 

 

The site containing the above image refers to it as "cute" and "adorable."  I'll let you decide for yourself, but it's obvious whoever wrote that was a crackhead.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Awful.

 

The site had a bunch of text and black and white pictures, the history of some car or another, I didn't even get down to this car because it was so boring I couldn't finish.  All I know is, they should have made this picture black and white too or omitted it entirely.

 

 

 

Apparently some other idiots decided to get together for a yellow car parade!

 

 

 

 

And no, even though the cars obviously belong in this dirty neighborhood, this wasn't an elaborate scheme to torture Saddam Heussein.

 

 

 

The next picture is from the same website.  The guy who brought a microphone but no speaker held an auction for permission to leave and, well, you can see what both attendees thought of the parade:

 

 

 

 

 

 

There were also a bunch of pictures of old cars, but looking at them would be like looking in a trash can full of soda cans.  It's certainly dirty and needs taken to the dump, but it's just too boring to bother paying attention to.  I properly ended that sentence with a preposition, so screw you sixth grade english teacher I forgot the name of!

 

 

 

Here's the best yellow car out of all of the results:

 

 

 

 

 

 

You must be thinking: surely I must be confused, because that's clearly a red car.  Well, that's the point.  This was the perfect ad for "The World's First Permanent Removable Paint System."  A yellow car's taint was removed by painting over it with red paint.  And if you ever want to torture someone, you can tie them to a chair and make them watch you remove the paint.

 

 

 

Okay, this next picture isn't from the first 20 results, but it is not of a car.  The picture is of a dog.  Part of a yellow car just happens to be the background:

 

 

The meaning is clear: this dog would rather die than keep looking at this yellow car out the window every day.

 

 

 

By now you must be wondering: if yellow cars suck so bad, how did Manhattan--the coolest city on Earth--get filled with them?  Well, this is perfectly explainable.  The first ever taxi driver didn't have much money because nobody knew what a taxi was and so he didn't have much to do.  He had to buy a car for his business, and since he didn't have much money he needed a deal.  So the car company, out of pity, donated the one nobody wanted to buy: a yellow car.  They did this in exchange for the right to place ads on the side and top of the car.  They reasoned that they had a lot to gain from this:

• Nobody in their right mind would ever buy the car and they'd get stuck with it
• They could advertise that they gave back to the community, whatever that is supposed to mean
• In an attempt to avoid looking at the eyesore, people would hurriedly focus on the ad
• They could get the beggar off their lot for good, and he wouldn't scare away any more customers

 

So that's how taxis became yellow and why they have ads all over them.  I don't know why only foreigners drive them so don't ask.

 

 

 

YELLOW CARS SUCK